How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
