this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
