Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
