may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
