It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
