how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My vagina just clenched in fear
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
