At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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