I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
