that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
