Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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