We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
