The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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