I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
