i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
