nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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