You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
