it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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