No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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