Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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