Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
