Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
