I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
