good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
