but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
