Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
