Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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