hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
