I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
