WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
