So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
