My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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