We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
