i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
