I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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