Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
