i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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