You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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