god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
