If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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