Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
