YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
