Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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