yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
