She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
