Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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