we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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