I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
