literally had 100 drinks last night.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
