his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
