Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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